maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
