YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize