Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
