well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
