i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
