We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
