hell yes lets make some ravioli
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
