Dignity is for republicans.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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