Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
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It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
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Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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