a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
