I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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