What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
