Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
