dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I would fuck him just for his dog
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
