Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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