I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You've changed since you got that strap on
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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