I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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