i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
