Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize