Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize