He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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