you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
