i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize