just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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