It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
