Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
as a side note pls kill me
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
