You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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