Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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