I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
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Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
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This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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