I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
