you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
