pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
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and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
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I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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