in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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