oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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