How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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