its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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