Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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