I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
