Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize