ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
