More tranny stories later!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
