I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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