I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
