Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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