i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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