you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
