i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
