Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
