okay pat passed out under dana's car
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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