oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
