Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
