we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
