I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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