like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Found the puke drawer
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
