Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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