yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
