I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
